Diary of a bridesmaid (aka N is a god)

Part 1: Hair and make-up
Arrive at hotel where wedding is being held. Immediately run into two other bridesmaids, my mom and stepfather, the bride's father, and the groom. The day has begun! Check into room. Leave N with parents while I find other bridesmaids. Go to room where four girls slept the night before. There's half a sheet cake in there. Woo, they had a good time!

Run around like crazy, getting ready in different rooms, using everyone else's hair products, find bride getting made up in the bridal suite. Hey, there's a huge sheet cake in here, too! Use five bridesmaids to get bride into dress. Forget to ask if she needs to pee before getting into that huge thing.

Part 2: Papparazzi
Watch the bride and groom take a zillion pictures. Eventually join in and take a jillion more. During photo breaks, some bridesmaids indulge at the bar. I pride myself on thinking ahead that that's not a good idea (foreshadowing, anyone?). Try to figure out what to do with purse. End up taking it back to hotel room and giving N things to hold. N's been drinking (with parents and on own)! Wooo, everyone's already having a good time!

Part 3: The waiting
The guests are arriving while the bride and groom are still taking pictures. The bride puts a stop to that and goes to await the rabbi and the signing of the ketubah (Jewish marriage contract). The rabbi is late. Very late. While we wait and wait, half the bridal party is in the bar. I still don't think that's a good idea before going to stand for a long time in front of a jillion people.

Part 4: The ceremony
Finally, finally, we get to start the long aisle walk. Ceremony, ceremony, ceremony, vows, vows, oops, one of the bridesmaids feels faint and has to sit down. Small panic among bridesmaids, but everyone ends up fine. Ceremony, ceremony, break the glass, mazel tov! Walk back down aisle to cocktail hour. I comment to the groomsman who's escorting me: Can we make a pitstop at the bar?

Part 5: The party
Woo!! It's time to party! The bar is open! There are hors d'oeuvres! Cheese! Drinks! Woo! Get in line for bar! Get a drink! Get handed another drink by stepfather! And another by boyfriend! Woo! Drinking!

Go into reception hall. Open bar has moved inside. N gets us drinks. Waiter pours wine and champagne. A little dancing. Make a toast with another bridesmaid. N gets us drinks. Drink champagne. Sample wine. N gets us drinks. Talk, talk, talk, laugh, laugh, laugh. Love everyone in the room! I'm the funniest girl here! This is so fun! Finish wine! Finish drinks! Get more drinks! What? The band is done playing? Let's go to hotel bar! Yeah! More drinks! Drink, drink, drink!

At hotel bar. One more drink. Others from the wedding party trickle in. Best night ever! So much fun! There's the bride and groom! Wooo! Drinks! Go to bathroom. On walk back to bar, stumble into wall. Realize I've had waaay too much to drink. Tell N I think I should go (though he says he made me go). Head outside for fresh air. Go up to hotel room.

Part 6: Oh. my. god! (aka, N is the greatest boyfriend ever)
The toilet bowl is my best friend. The toilet bowl is my best friend! Will not leave toilet bowl! N makes me leave toilet bowl. Hardly remember anything else, but N can tell all in great detail. I suck, he rocks. One of most intense drunks of my life. N is a god. I am forever in N's debt. Screw the toilet bowl, N is my best friend.

Woke up in morning. Bleh. Bleh! The toilet bowl is my best friend. Realize I'm still wearing all make-up, pearls and earrings, and not much else. Don't remember getting out of dress. Have to meet mom and stepfather for breakfast. Bleh, food! Mom is very concerned about hangover. Can't stop talking about it. I order coffee and nothing else. Can't drink coffee. People from wedding party stop by and say: How are YOU feeling today? Lots of people say it, but others are suffering from the night's antics, too.

N drives us home in my car. Take hotel laundry bag, just in case hurling needed. Get to apartment. Lie on couch for hours and hours. Feeling better now. Great party, guys!

Part 7: Vow to not drink like that again
Really, I do.