TV is a sick girl's BFF

So, if you were forced to be on a reality show, which one would you pick? N. always says he'd be on The Amazing Race, but there's just no way I could handle the stress. I can hardly watch without hyperventilating about getting to the airport on time! And the claustrophobia would screw more than one Detour up, I'm sure.

If I had to choose one, it'd definitely have to be something without a lot of physical requirements and a minimal amount of drama (I know, I know, it's asking a lot). Though the thought of being cooped up in a little house with a dozen other people for months isn't that appealing, I think Big Brother would probably be easiest. Or The Real World, for that matter. I mean, that doesn't take much effort. Just get drunk every night, make some assumptions about your non-white roommates, and learn a lesson about gay people. Doesn't really measure up to my "minimal amount of drama" clause, though does it? I know for sure I couldn't do Survivor or Fear Factor or anything that has to do with dating (I mean come ON!). I sure hope this forced reality show thing I've invented doesn't come true!

Speaking of reality shows, have you caught my new favorite? Showdog Moms & Dads is just brilliant! Now, I was a fan of Showbiz Moms & Dads, but this is just a million-billion times better! It's Best in Show, but REAL! Those people are NUTS! Please watch it so we can talk about it!

What I learned from Oprah today: My body is not a trashcan for boys' sperm.