Head case

They looked inside my skull today. Isn’t that exciting? I had to have a CT scan to follow up on a headache issue, and I’ve been freaking out about the appointment since I found out I had to have it.

I don’t know about you, but I’m horribly claustrophobic (which has been getting worse as I get older. I can hardly stand to be in the Indiana Jones ride line at Disneyland anymore. Have you seen those narrow cave passages??). Anyway, when I went online to help calm myself about the CT scan and go in with proper expectations, I freaked myself out even more, because there were mentions of an intravenous contrast medium (I’d heard my doctor mumble something about not being allergic to contrast mediums, so I think I was right to assume I’d be faced with this). Needles and narrow tunnels!! Ugh!

So I’ve been dreading and dreading this thing all weekend, knowing I was going in first thing this morning. I pictured myself getting nauseous from the injection, having a panic attack from being inside the tunnel of the CT machine, freezing from having to remove all my clothes, losing all the jewelry I had to remove and leave in another room (I know, I’m a great worrier. Thanks, Mom!), and all manner of other things that are even more embarrassing than those! But, I was pretty well able to talk myself down every time I felt a panic rising over it (this is cool technology, you’re lucky this is the only kind of test you need, there are children starving in Africa), so I went into the appointment this morning with what I thought was minimal nervousness.

I got there early, checked in, and they took me right away. The technician walked me down the hall and asked if I’d ever had a CT scan before. I said I hadn’t, but I’d had an MRI (which was the cause of all this panic in the first place. That’s one loud, narrow, scary-ass tunnel!). He said, "Oh, this is way different," and opened the door to the test room. A surprisingly huge flood of dread rushed out of my body and I laughed out loud!! The machine was like a donut! No tunnel! No dark hole! It was a freakin’ donut, with a "tunnel" no longer than the top of my head!

But still, I dreaded the needle and the clothing removal. Then he said, "Okay, just take off your earrings, put your purse down, and lie down here." That’s it! No clothing removal, no scary confiscation of every object in the room because they could come flying into the machine—nothing! Take off your earrings and lie down here! My lord, the whole thing was over in three minutes. Literally.

I’m so lame.