Chaos! (weather and otherwise)

Part I

What the?? Did anyone else just get caught in that MONSOON?? I left my office at noon for a leisurely walk to the mall under clear blue skies, spent all of 10 minutes in Ann Taylor, and came out to find I’d somehow time- and distance-traveled to Florida during hurricane season! I had to practically run the half-mile (give or take…okay, quarter-mile…maybe a few blocks), in the rain, with the wind whipping my long-ass hair all over the place, glasses all fogging up (I’ve been having some contact issues), and skirt flying this way and that. And, to make matters worse, I was dragging a GIANT Brookstone bag that has my new Tempur-Pedic pillow in it. (Sheesh, this paragraph highlights at least two of my recent medical problems. Makes that looming birthday really hit home!). Anyway, an hour later, I’m looking out the window and it’s clear skies again.

Part II

Last week, N and I got our asses out of the house on a weeknight to walk up to The Grove to catch Guster’s free show sponsored by Indie 103.1 (I’m really too lazy right now to link all these things, but you know how to Google). We got found ourselves a nice little spot on the grass among what turned out to be every kind of weirdo jerk in LA:

1. Woman who would not put her camera down the entire show. She held it above her head or to the side or practically in my face the whole time. Come on, man! Watch the show through your own eyes, not the camera’s! Not only is it lame, it’s just annoying to your fellow concert-goers who are blocked by your body and distracted by the glowing blue screen.
   
   
2. Weird threesome group. There was a guy who had his arms wrapped solidly around two girls the entire show. And I don’t mean in an “oh it’s cold, let me warm you up because I’m a good guy friend” kind of way. This guy was actively caressing the necks and backs and hairs of both girls. N and I couldn’t figure out which girl "belonged" to him, so we just figured that’s what young kids do these days. You know, MTV and dating reality shows and all that.
   
   
3. Drunk or possibly drugged-up (or just crazy) guy. At first, N and I thought he was David from MTV’s Real World Venice (Los Angeles? What did they call that season?), but we quickly learned otherwise (we think). This guy somehow (we missed the beginning of it) got into it with a leather-and-spikes (but otherwise pleasant-looking) punk guy. Not thirty seconds into the show (and thirty inches from us), those two were throwing down, with Punk getting "David" into some wrestling hold that he eventually used to shove him outside the perimeter of concert goers. Then, after crashing into a temporary fence, "David" came back into Punk’s space, pulling something out of his pocket. By this time, I was hiding behind N, who had deftly (and very valiantly) tossed me back there for protection. I fully expected to see some sort of weapon (we’d already seen him toss his cigarette at Punk), but instead, he pulled out a rosary and held it in the air. Eventually...finally...a "security" guard came and pulled him away. Sort of.

Anyway, it was a good show, but it really emphasizes what I hate about going out. People.

More celebs [and RIP old couch]

[Here’s where I removed a long story about our couch being rejected by the Salvation Army. That sentence is all you really needed to know anyway.]

But anyway, on to the exciting things! A couple weeks ago we were shuttling around my visiting mom, which meant we were out and about much more than we usually are in a given week (or month). And what happens when you’re out in LA? Celebrity sightings! The first night my mom was in, we ate at Larchmont Grill, one table away from George Takei! Surprisingly, I was the one who spotted him and had to whisper to N to turn around and check him out. Also surprisingly, this is not the first time we’ve dined with the man. A few years ago we were also a table away from him at Mishsima.

A day or so later, we were out shopping at Old Navy and I spotted this kid from Weeds (and Nemo’s voice!). I had the urge to go up and ask him for his autograph, because I thought he might think it was cool, but then I got a threatening image of Chris Hansen in my head and backed off.

That same night, we went to Pastis. We were sitting there checking out the wine list and facing the doorway, when suddenly, what has now become my most exciting celebrity sighting ever happened: Michael C. Hall! I never knew I’d be so excited to see him in person, but I squeezed N’s leg so hard when he walked into our line of sight that there just might still be fingerprints in his knee socket! You’re watching Dexter, right??

Unfortunately for my mom, not one of these actors was within her range of TV knowledge. It’s okay, though, because she thinks she sees celebrities wherever we go in town anyway. You should’ve seen the woman she thought was Whitney Houston. She also thought she saw Jennifer Hudson at Doughboys. I probably should just let her think she’s seeing actors she knows, and shut up about the ones she doesn’t. Maybe next time.